Crowd around........

Today morning as regular routine last few days I was waiting at electric house for my friends. Was standing near adidas showroom. Regular process on road was going on, hawkers setting their stall, begger taking his place and emptied his bottle of water and gave it to his friend to fill it for fresh water, buses moving by, taxis running fast, everybody honking, all in rush to reach office, open their shops....lot of thing happening all around me but felt like I was all alone...Felt like one yellow frog between 1000 black frogs jumping all around without knowing where to go.
Life is going somewhere where I do not know. Moving ahead with time,with the speed of world around feeling lost yet found yet lost again.
World is close to me but I m far from it. ...

Life is the biggest teacher..

Right now what I am writing may not have any connection with my title but it just my heart speaking purely. Attimes it becomes very important to be aware in every relationship however close or far it is. a pure heart always makes a human behave purely and many a times others do not understand. Definately not their mistake but the way they take certain issues is their way of looking at things.
I almost lost my best friends. I know one is already going far rather has gone pretty far but to lose the other as well as whatever much I have of both will break me completely. I got an opportunity to learn this from my life today that how it would be to lose this friends from my life.
It is hurting me today I m in pain bad pain. Feel devasted due to a particular thing in my life.
Losing the opportunity which one never got is more troubling than getting an opportunity and losing a game.
Hurt and pain will always remain in heart for life with a regret. Regret will remain with a big quetions "Why not" and "Why me" unanswered forever....This unanswered questions haunt me, hurt me give me pain and generate more questions in my mind.
I now realise how it feels to lose someone who so close to your heart and soul in a span of few minutes.
Just pray to god that this is the last time I am going through this trauma. I need stability, peace in my life and around me................................

Regret and guilt.......

Regret and guilt are the most dirty feeling to go through. Facing this situation is as difficult as handling your ship in storm.
Guilt of making someone you loved the most on this earth feel suffocated in love is the worst thing one can go through. Making that person hate the word called Love which is supposed to be the best feeling in the world. This one thing can turn things upside down.
All the love is lost all the effort to make someone feel special is gone away with the flow of wave which will never come back.
The regret of entering someones life making it hell is the worst feeling to live with. Thats the end of life and all the other feelings in heart.
A person who is pure at heart can never handle such situation. Making someone hate their past their relationship and the soulful relation they thought and wished of living with ...can anything be more disastrous than this??
How do I live with this feeling?How do i live my life? I thought i helped someone live his life but i screwed it big time. What did I do in my life? This is the biggest weight on my shoulder I need to live with..Cant express more on blog i do not know but I regret my life today...will never forget March 28, 2009 which was suppose to be most beautiful day of my life...but i left nothing to ruin things on the day and after that.........................my life is nothing more than these full stops right now..............................