Regret and guilt.......

Regret and guilt are the most dirty feeling to go through. Facing this situation is as difficult as handling your ship in storm.
Guilt of making someone you loved the most on this earth feel suffocated in love is the worst thing one can go through. Making that person hate the word called Love which is supposed to be the best feeling in the world. This one thing can turn things upside down.
All the love is lost all the effort to make someone feel special is gone away with the flow of wave which will never come back.
The regret of entering someones life making it hell is the worst feeling to live with. Thats the end of life and all the other feelings in heart.
A person who is pure at heart can never handle such situation. Making someone hate their past their relationship and the soulful relation they thought and wished of living with ...can anything be more disastrous than this??
How do I live with this feeling?How do i live my life? I thought i helped someone live his life but i screwed it big time. What did I do in my life? This is the biggest weight on my shoulder I need to live with..Cant express more on blog i do not know but I regret my life today...will never forget March 28, 2009 which was suppose to be most beautiful day of my life...but i left nothing to ruin things on the day and after that.........................my life is nothing more than these full stops right now..............................

Clashhhh.................no better word found

Why are there so many unsaid feelings in human mind and heart. Why are this feelings difficult to express. God gave us feelings but din not provide us with right words and society did not provide us the right to express.
Why every statement and every word seems to be in complete and feels like does not really express what heart wants to say.
Why life lives us all alone with thousands of questions which are not just impossible to answer but impossible to manage too.
In this so called god made, altered by humans version of world why do people like me suffer. Our emotions remain within unexpressed, unfelt due to lot of laws, rules & regulations of society.
Why we do not get opportunity to leave the original world created by god. Why are we forced to live life that is artificial; follow rules that are made by someone we do not even know.
Why somebody else has right to take decision. Why does someone else has right to guide our paths. Why are their clashes of emotions and feelings between two people. Why do humans envy each other. Why are humans so in secured as I am too....

"LIFE HAS DEFINITION YET WITHOUT ANY MEANING EASY TO FIND....."

Every relation in my life....

My fear and my relations all go hand in hand.. The fear attached to every new relation in my life keeps me away from making justice to myself n my new relations.
Every time I make new relation why does a fear hold my hand and move with me? A fear of becoming a topic of timepass for that new perosn? The fear of becoming a topic of joke and laughter for that person and other around them? A fear of losing that person?
Why it gets difficult to trust someone....
Inspite of having tried thousands time to be positive about the thoughts arrives in my mind. I know I am not very smart, intelligent but does that make me a piece of joke ???????????????
I think I should not get close to anyone...stay away as it hurts..............I can never have any true friends or people just dont want to be true to me...I really do not know..........
I fear making new friends............I better stay away from all